God uses unqualified people. There’s no doubt about that. He has turned  prisoners into prime ministers, murderes into liberators, fishermen and tax collectors into apostles and more. It always amazes me, when I read through the Bible, to see how God completely rubbishes our ‘wisdom’ and goes on to accomplish the extraordinary with the ‘unordinary’.

I remember hearing stories about people who were not qualified for the jobs they got but they got them anyway. Why? Because the favor of God was with them. People who did not qualify for financing but the bank called them in and the manager started the meeting with the phrase “I’don’t know why I’m doing this…” as he approved the loan. I always wondered why I did not experience that kind of spectacular favor. Looking back now I realize I did. I was usually unqualified for the things I ended up doing in employment, business and church. But that did not stop God from allowing me to accomplish great things. I have no university degree (at all), I did not attend a famous school known for its achievements and I am not from a famous family. On the face of it, I am unqualified in my society for anything that would be considered important.

Have we ever stopped to wonder what these ‘favored’ ones go through? They prayed and asked and they got it. Now they have a job where they have to learn as they go along. This means people who feel short-changed by having a leader who is unqualified have to be patient and willing to help. Sometimes, we are the colleagues who bemoan the wisdom of a boss who knows nothing. Clueless to the fact that our ‘illiterate’ boss is learning as they go along and will one day accomplish great things. These ‘favored’ individuals have to contend with more learned and, many times, more skilled individuals within the team who can do the job better. Individuals who are regarded highly within the community and probably even come with strong and high connections. It can be intimdating. It can be depressing. It can be very discouraging.

I have always assumed I have a system for dealing with these feelings effectively. But that is not always the case. Once in a while, the weight of it all seems unbearable. I feel alone in a group where I should be at home. My inadequacy becomes glaring, respect for me begins to wan, the people seem more and more impatient and I begin looking for a way out. Why should they be stuck with an imbecile for a leader (I ask myself as I wallow in self-pity)? I could spare them the agony of it all couldn’t I?

I have a promise from God. That He will lift me up. Not that it will be easy. After He’s done with the heavy lifting I seem to be left with the heavy carrying. Why bother when every experience seems to leave an indelible mark on me? I can deal with the secular world handing me this kind of discouraging experiences but when the church does it to me, the weight compounds exponentially. Probably because we have higher expectations of those who share our religious ideals. Probably because we see them as family. The spiritual opinion would be that I should lay down my burden and pick up His. The point is this. This IS His burden, which is light and comfortable. Its not easy though.

Maybe I should really quit this time.

:)