For Those Wishing Someone a Happy Father’s Day

Men are boyfriends, fathers, brothers, husbands, lovers.

Men are macho problem-fixers but crave a hug and a kind word more than a medal.

Men are brave but have a deep desire to be seen, to be wanted, to be needed….to matter.

Men are clueless (or relationally challenged) with women, but feel un-understood and disregarded by the ones they care about the most.

Men are strong, they are warriors, but can be destroyed in seconds by a word said by the woman they love.

Men are resilient politicians operating in spaces where they endure extended periods of contestation and confrontation. But they are worn down by girl friends or wives in ways that would make their political opponents green with envy.

Men, just like women, carry multiple identities with them through their life. Simultaneously.

The father isn’t just a father but all those other things, all the time.

If he is your husband or boyfriend  be kind to all of him, tell him you love him, ask him what you can do for him, hold back your irritation about his tardiness, untidiness or disinterest in the things you think are important. It’s probably more important that he feels loved by you than only saying it to him.

If he is your father, shake his hand, give him a hug, tell him you love him, appreciate him. Let him know he matters, that he has had some impact in your life in some way.

Wish him, the boyfriend, the father, the brother, the husband, the lover, a Happy Father’s Day by the way you treat him, not just by saying the words to him.

If you’re a father, I wish you a happy father’s day. No matter how you’re feeling, where you are, what has been said to you or what you believe about yourself.